Vendredi 21 décembre 2007
5
21
/12
/Déc
/2007
04:33
Après un premier
You know you've lived in China too long when..., voici la suite:
You still know you've lived in China too long when...
214. A few shots of baijiu don't even give you a buzz.
215. A June 2001 Great Wall Cabernet (mixed with Sprite) is your vintage of choice.
216. You only drink beer from at least 600ml bottles.
217. You get your haircut on the sidewalk.
218. Badminton and ping pong are your main forms of exercise.
219. You find yourself "getting back to nature" in a park that contains nothing but concrete and a giant revolutionary statue.
220. People with bright white teeth look frightening to you.
221. You find yourself exiting a major highway... on your bike.
222. You ask people in what animal year they were born.
223. You developed an acquired taste for moon cakes.
224. You know it is useless to protest when the lady at the supermarket check-out wraps one toothbrush in 6 plastic bags.
225. You actually purchased a canto-pop CD.
226. You actually play it several times.
227. You are not surprised to see 85-year old ladies pushing tons of garbage up the streets of the financial district.
228. Your body no longer accepts dairy products.
229. Your work buddy taps you on the shoulder to talk to you, and you say "bu yao" (No, I don't want!) out of habit.
230. You question the waitress who didn't cut your steak piece by piece, and ask for chopsticks.
231. You're a hardworking person, voluntarily doing over time everyday, because you only chatted with your friends on QQ during office hours.
232. You are no longer flinching every few seconds in a taxi ride.
233. You start reaching for a piece of fish with your chop sticks and don't even notice the fish looking back at you.
234. Your brand new bicycle only cost you $20.
235. You are now washing your socks in the sink.
236. You try to haggle over the rental price of a $110 a month apartment.
237. You get up early for a backwards walk and thrust your hand at a 45 degree angle into the sky over and over for balanced exercise.
238. Ice cubes in your beer actually make it cooler and more refreshing.
239. Metal scaffolding at construction sites seems much more dangerous than bamboo scaffolding.
240. 250cc is a really big motorcycle. Moving from a 125cc to a 150cc makes you more macho.
241. You develop a liking for corn and bean flavor ice cream.
242. You think the best part of TV is the commercials.
243. You see three people on a motorcycle and figure there's room for two more.
244. "Squid" sounds better than "steak".
245. You forget that the other person needs to finish speaking before you can start.
246. You see one foreign person eating Pineapple (or whatever) and say "Yes, all foreign people like Pineapple".
247. Hookers buy you drinks.
248. You haven't cut your finger nails in 8 weeks.
249. You start telling a story to a new expat friend about the crazy Shanghai girl you slept with 6 months ago and he replies that he knows her and she was his girlfriend at the time. Neither of
you care.
250. In the rain, you spot a vacant taxi which is 10 minutes away and you have already planned how you are going to jump out with great enthusiasm in the road, elbow everyone else trying to claim
it.
251. It seems entirely sensible to take a cab across town for 12 Yuan in each direction to buy something that costs 4 Yuan, that they sell right outside your house anyway.
252. You invite friends over for dinner, and serve thousand year old eggs as an appetizer.
253. You think singing Karaoke on Friday nights is fun.
254. You wonder why none of your friends back home have VCD players.
255. You stop calling the Guinness Book of Records people each time you kill a cockroach.
256. You don't recognize a bowl of chicken soup unless there are feet and a head in it.
257. Your favorite pizza toppings are corn, pineapple and shrimp.
258. In the summer, you roll the legs of your pants up to your knees whenever you sit down.
259. You (men) roll your shirt up to your nipples.
260. You go to the hospital at the first signs of a cold.
261. Looking at a dog makes you hungry.
262. A T-bone steak with rice sounds just fine.
263. You have a pet bird... with which you walk.
264. You can pick up any type of food using just your chopsticks... even peanuts.
265. The footprints on the toilet seat are your own.
266. You regard traffic signals, stop signs, and counterfeit watch peddlers with equal disdain.
267. When listening to the pilot proves he cannot speak English, you no longer wonder if he can understand the air traffic controller.
268. Smoking is one of the dinner courses.
269. Eating at "Western" restaurants, you wait until after dessert to drink your soup.
270. You start expecting the rice at the end of a meal
271. Household furnishings are arranged for optimal "feng shui".
272. You would never think of entering anyone's house without first removing your shoes.
273. You always get a seat on a bus.
274. You think you should wear nylon socks with your Nikes or sandals in the summer, instead of cotton ones.
275. You regularly fumble for five minutes to find 10 jiao despite 10 people waiting in line behind you.
276. You ride around on your bicycle ringing a bell for some unknown f***ing reasons.
275. You can make elevators go faster by boarding first and taking over the controls.
276. You start enjoying the taste of the cucumber flavor Lays crisps.
277. None of your shoes have laces.
278. When someone says "snack", you think: salted cuttlefish.
279. You enjoy wearing flip flops on all occasions.
280. You go shopping to buy gifts for a future business partner, just to "smooth things along".
281. You start to describe delusional thoughts and fantasies as "healthy passions".
282. Drilling on the walls in the early hours in the morning is considered acceptable behavior.
283. You don't notice your gastrointestinal problems anymore.
284. You watch Chinese chess on TV religiously.
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